How to Draft: Sponsors, Mentors & Getting Ahead

How to Draft: Sponsors, Mentors & Getting Ahead

by Maureen Berkner Boyt

Women are mentoring one another to death, men are sponsoring one another to the top. That pretty much sums up what’s happening, based on the research on the topic and the observations many women have shared with me. It’s time to get ourselves some sponsors.



What’s In the Way?
Two big things- sex, or rather the implication of sex, and head trash.  Research shows that women think differently about having a sponsor than men do, somehow seeing it as cheating, or an unfair advantage. It’s time to take that trash out and understand that sponsorship is simply a part of the leadership path, and part of the way things work. A sponsor won’t even consider taking you under their wing unless they think you've got what it takes because of the risk to their personal brand, so you've got to have the goods first, and the sponsorship comes second.

The oft thought and rarely talked about barrier to sponsorship is the presumption that there’s an affair taking place when an older man takes interest in the career of a younger woman. Given the stats that men hold senior leadership position at a 10:1 ratio to women, the likelihood of an older man/younger woman sponsorship pairing is very high. Organizations need to take the lead on this one, and start an open dialogue on the topic and it’s impact on the availability of sponsor relationship for women. We need to make it safe for men and women to enter into a sponsor relationships, and that means talking about unwarranted perceptions.

What are sponsors looking for in a protege?

If someone is going to go out on a limb and sponsor you, they need to know you can deliver. They are hitching you to their wagon and their brand and want to see:
-A proven track record of results
-Growth potential
-Ambition & drive
-A strong personal brand
-Loyalty to the company & to them

In other words, a whole lot of moxie.

Resources to help you get started:

Sylvia Ann Hewlett has led the some great research on the impact of sponsorship on women’s careers and has just written a new book on the topic,  “Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor”. Among her finding are the ‘Sponsorship Effect’, which amounts to 30%- more pay, more promotions, more stretch assignments. The Mentoring Women’s Network has some great resources for individuals and organizations ready to tackle the sponsorship challenge for women.

I’d love to hear some success stories, so if you've had a great sponsor do tell! Likewise, are there other barriers you've encountered?

Maureen Berkner Boyt
www.moxieexchange.com  
Maureen@moxieexchange.com

4 Keys to Getting Women In To Leadership Positions

4 Keys to Getting Women In To Leadership Positions
by Maureen Berkner Boyt

In the Spring of 2013 Moxie Exchange Movement convened its inaugural Summit on “Women, Leadership and Corporate America” in response to a need expressed by corporate leadership, diversity and talent development experts to connect with like-minded influencers committed to women’s leadership development. Participants in this groundbreaking meeting were a select group of female executives from well-known corporations who make up the Moxie Board of Advisers.
We are pleased to share a report on the findings discovered during the Summit, and we believe the ideas and insights contained within have the potential to change the status of women in business and achieve gender parity in corporate leadership. The Moxie report contains four key findings and action steps that will provide a roadmap for women and corporations committed to increasing the number of women in high-ranking leadership positions.
Download a full copy of the Spring Summit Report at: MoxieExchange.com/SummitReport

The Four Findings

#1 Make Filling the Shoes Coveted The cultural norms and the daily experience of current leaders that women observe on a daily basis are key drivers in their decision to step into a leadership role, stay in place or leave altogether. She is watching what the leader’s daily experience is like and opting in or out based on what she sees.

#2 The Secret Sauce: The Role of the Respected Translator The respected translator is a woman in a leadership position who has the absolute respect of people at all levels in the organization and has deep credibility based on her experience and the understanding. She is also committed to the long-term health and financial stability of the organization. She is consistently translating the impact actions and decisions will have on the organization’s ability to successfully promote qualified women and on individual’s abilities to be prepared and positioned for promotions

#3 Don’t Let Her Pull the Plug: Offer Life Support Those companies that are proactive, and discuss both the emotional and practical implications of life events, and offer empathy and support solutions stand a much better chance of retaining their female talent. The best life-support solutions employed by Summit participant companies take into account the realities of balancing multiple priorities and ensure that women are not forced to make the choice; climb the leadership ladder or leave.

#4 Promise Little, Perform Much Efforts to get to gender-equity in leadership often start out as a business imperative, become a business strategy, and end up as a marketing strategy. Under-promising and over-delivering on commitments to investing in women’s leadership development strategies led to strong engagement of high-potential women.

Make Filling the Shoes Coveted
Seek feedback from a group of high potential women about the perception of what being a leader at your organization is like – the good, the bad and the ugly. Do something with what you learn.
As a leadership team, discuss the impression of leadership roles you are setting by your day-to-day activities (email, hours, flexibility of schedule etc.) Agree on norms and how you will communicate those norms in action and words.

The Secret Sauce: The Role of the Respected Translator
Identify women that are already serving as respected translators in your company. Discuss the purpose and the importance of the role with them. Thank them for playing a key function in women’s ability to successfully move into leadership roles at your company.
Add to the ranks. Gather a small group of women who fit the criteria of a respected translator and discuss the role and the importance it plays. Appoint several key, interested women to the role.
Connect new and existing respected translators to one another so they can discuss roadblocks, share ideas and solutions across the organization, and support one another in the role.

Don’t Let Her Pull the Plug: Offer Life Support
Be proactive. Have key life-event conversations with up-and-coming women, including “How I Did It” formal or informal lunches with senior women.
Map the typical leadership path in your organization, including travel and time commitments and timeframe for average advancement. Overlay the typical times at which major life events occur (marriage, children, care of aging parents) and note the intersection of those events and the leadership path. Use whatever methodology your company employs for business case problem solving, and design solutions that mitigate the risk of highly talented women exiting during the life-event intersection points.
Involve her family, especially spouses/partners in the conversation about her leadership path. Change the dynamic from ‘work vs. home’ with the woman caught in the middle to ‘we’re all in this together’ to help her succeed.

Promise Little, Perform Much
Make it real. There is consistent data about financial performance and gender diversity in leadership. Take that data and your company’s financial performance data and create a financial model showing financial performance with and without leadership gender parity. Add in the statistics about the impending labor shortage and war for talent to make the solid business case for gender parity being a business imperative.
 Make individuals and the organization accountable for results. Tie a name to a goal, a number and a deadline. What gets measured gets done.

More Information Available
Download a full copy of the Spring Summit Report at:
MoxieExchange.com/SummitReport

Giving: Rx for Better Health

Giving: Rx for Better Health
by Eli Davidson

“You have got to be out of your mind” was a sentence Isabella was getting used to hearing. Friend after friend rolled her eyes as she told them of her plans. Isabella was 80 years old, for God’s sake, and no amount of eye rolling was going to dissuade her. Even if her friends were moving into assisted living facilities, she was building a new home in Montecito and giving it to her favorite charity. No strings attached.

Although her friends told her that the move and overseeing the construction would be the death of her, Isabella out lived the friends that poo pooed her philanthropic adventure. She lived a happy, healthy life in her Monetico home for 10 years. Her vision, spirit and wish to remain an anonymous live on since her home is now used as a retreat center.

Volunteering is good for you. Science is beginning to discover that there are concrete physical, and emotional benefits to giving to others. Perhaps, you have a vague notion that volunteering is “good for the soul” but have little, if any, concrete evidence that philanthropy could be good for your health. In More Give to Live, Douglas Lawson cites research that shows how helping others leads to enhanced health and emotional well-being. Numerous studies report that those involved in ongoing volunteer programs have an enhanced immune system, improved cardiovascular circulation as well as better sleep patterns. Emotionally those involved in philanthropic work sense of control over one’s life and circumstances, increased ability to cope with crisis as well as stronger feelings of personal satisfaction, compassion and empathy.

The Helper’s High. You may have just had a brush with ‘Helper’s High’ yourself.
How do you feel when you finish a long run or a tough workout? Until the pain sinks in you probably feel fantastic. Strenuous exercise releases endorphins. That release creates an elated feeling known as the runners high. Have you ever left a day of working with your favorite good cause with more energy than you began with? That could be due to a similar endorphin response.

A charity in New York City recently conducted a survey of 3,300 volunteers. Many experienced feelings of euphoria while being involved in their service project. The volunteers compared the experience to the runner's high - when a person runs and exerts, but instead of feeling more stressed, one feels more relaxed and joyous.

Giving makes you feel better. It may be a key factor in living longer as well. Dr. Stephanie Brown and her colleagues at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan conducted an important study recently. Dr. Brown discovered and her team tracked 423 older couples over a 5 year period. The people who reported giving no support to others were more than twice as likely to die during the five years of the study as those who helped others. The simple act of giving to neighbors, a spouse, relative or friends gave people a 50% better chance of living longer. Her study gives clear evidence that giving is good for your health.

What If?

What If?
by Sharlene Jamison

Most unexpected events take place....of course when we don't expect it....

Do you have a plan in place?   Will you be able to maintain your standard of living?

Are you prepared for life's WHAT IF moments?

Preparing a plan can prepare you for the possible pitfalls that may affect your livelihood and, most of all, the way you enjoy living.

Sharlene Jamison, Financial Consultant, of the Meridian Financial Company can help you navigate your future...for the WHAT IF in life.

Scenario:

PLANNING FOR A FAMILY
Samantha and Jerry are getting married.   They have decided to start a family together.   They are both in their mid 30’s with successful careers.   Samantha is an executive director for her company.   She earns $80,000 annually.   Jerry earns 45,000 as a contractor for an electrical company.   They currently reside in a city apartment.

Their decision to start a family has helped them enforce priorities regarding finances and managing risk.   They have decided to protect their income so they could maintain their lifestyle in the event that life’s challenges step-in while planning for their future family.

They’ve decided to get a financial adviser to help create a financial plan to keep them on course, to fulfill their dreams and goals of preparing for their future family, and to protect their income.

Samantha and Jerry are considering raising their children in the suburbs.
Unfortunately, Samantha was terminated from her job one week prior to knowing she is pregnant.   While in her third month she has been informed by her doctor to have bed rest throughout the entirety of her pregnancy due to internal complications.

Concerns:
The ‘What If’ has taken place in their lives.
Did the couple stay on course to protect their income for their dreams?
Did the couple purchase disability income and life insurance protection?
Did the couple follow the advice of their financial adviser?
Can they still run the course of fulfilling their personal financial dreams with this unexpected event?
The ’WHAT IF’ has taken place in the life Samantha and Jerry.
WHAT IF this happened to you...After all, IF is the center of LIFE.

Sharlene Jamison, Financial Consultant, can help you navigate your future for the WHAT IF in life, She offers securities through Cadaret Grant & Co, Member FINRA/SIPC, and is affiliated with The Meridian Financial Company,

The Meridian Financial Company
"Navigating The Future"
90 Lawrence Ave, Smithtown, NY, 11787
T-631-656-8198 - C- 917-670-5994
www.sharlenejamison.com
sjamison@ae.cadaretgrant.com

How to Follow Up After the Interview

How to Follow Up After the Interview
Nancy Molloy, CompliStaff
 www.complistaff.com 

The first interview with a new company went well.  What to do next?
Without question, following an interview you should send an individually addressed thank you note to all whom you met.  Until recently, this formal soul would have suggested a hand written note and while I continue to think this is a charming touch, I have warmed to the idea of an email note of thanks.  In fact, email is perfectly agreeable.

The tone of your thank you note should be professional.  The note (this is different from a letter, yes?) should be three and not more than four paragraphs.

You might begin with an expression of thanks for the time and the shared information.  Perhaps there was something unique you wish to address about the meeting or, you may even add a short paragraph if with reflection, you had more to say.  Did I say a short paragraph?  Yes, not more than four lines, please.
May I suggest that in the last paragraph you state your level of interest and ask about next steps.  You might write something such as “I continue to have an interest in xyz company and in the role we discussed.  I look forward to learning about next steps.”

As a closing salutation, you might consider:  Kindest regards, Best regards, With sincere thanks.  And for heaven’s sake, please sign off with your full name.  I might even be so bold as to include a contact phone number under my name to make contacting me easy.

Finally, please, please, please, spell check before you send.

Repeat after each round of interviews.

Please stay tuned to Gayle’s List as next month I will write about how to resign from your job and what’s up with counter offers.

Nancy Molloy
www.complistaff.com

Lessons Learned from a Brain Tumor

Lessons Learned from a Brain Tumor
by Karen Perry-Weinstat

In April 2012 I was as my desk working after having gone for an MRI due to chronic headaches I was experiencing.  It was the neurologist.  When he told me the test revealed that I had a large brain tumor, I laughed.  My first thought was, how ridiculous!  I don’t have time for this!  I’d recently been through two other major ordeals.  This was just too much!

I laughed all the way to his office the next morning for a pre-hours consultation accompanied by my husband.  Two days later, after the herculean efforts and incredible connections of my sister landed me an appointment with the top neurosurgeon for that type of tumor.  Two days after that, I had emergency surgery to relieve pressure in my brain due to blockage caused by the tumor.  Three weeks later, I submitted to an 8 hour procedure to remove the tumor, followed by weeks of in-patient rehab and home-based physical therapy tapering to office based physical therapy.  

The tumor, THANKFULLY, was benign.  It wasn’t exactly the type of tumor they’d diagnosed before the surgery.  My hospitalization and recovery were painful, humbling and slow.  NEVER be a patient unless it’s unavoidable!  

About 11 weeks post-surgery, for no apparent reason, my body stopped producing red blood cells.  So anemic that I fell over, banged my head and couldn’t move, I was taken by ambulance to the ER where they literally saved my life with emergency transfusions.  We think the episode was caused by surgical medication, but we were never really sure.  Five days later, I was released from the hospital to resume my tumor recovery.

Now, I am not a Pollyanna kind of person.  While my emotions run deep, I tend to present a formidable exterior that can be off-putting to some.  From previous life challenges, I’ve already been forced to learn, grow and to toughen up.  I’ve gone through many programs, workshops and seminars and have read many books to reinforce my resolve that life isn’t about what happens to you; it’s about who you are no matter what happens.

That said, from day one of the diagnosis, I tackled the problem head-on.  I went to the best surgeon at the best hospital in a top city where they were experienced with complicated surgeries.  I put my affairs in order and bravely donned my hospital gown and ridiculous shower-cap like headgear.  I did not focus on what was beyond my control.  I knew that after the surgery, it would be up to me to make the most of it, regardless what “it” was.  I firmly believed that I had too much at stake to expect or accept anything other than a full recovery.  Of course, I had no idea of whether or not this was reasonable.  But, being reasonable is not a good strategy when facing the unknown.  That type of thinking creates a smaller range of possibilities than does being unreasonable, or determined to achieve the outcome you desire.  My desire was to get my life back.  I love my life.  I've worked hard to get wherever it is that I am.  I was not willing to let that go.

My 25 year old daughter tells me that I was obnoxious in the in-patient rehab when they cheered me on for small accomplishments like putting a peg in a color-coded pegboard hole.  When I made it up and down the therapeutic stairs (a set of 6 steps with a handrail and traction flooring), they applauded.  I grimaced.  If that was “good,” I was screwed!  No, while I was pleased to note such accomplishments, they were just steps back to myself.  I made it clear to the therapists that I am a high functioning, active business owner and full-tilt person.  “Good” to me would be taking the NYC subway or hustling to and from meetings.  I wasn’t there to rest… I asked them to challenge me and I worked very hard to master each challenge.  My daughter said, “Do you think that they’ve never before had a high functioning person” in the neurological rehab unit of a major NYC hospital?  I responded… “I’m sure they have.  But I just want them to know that I have high expectations – for them and for me.”  How else would I be sure that I got the most from the rehab experience?

My story goes on and it’s now more than a year since my diagnosis.  I’m almost all the way back.  I do have some permanent nerve damage and pain on my right side.  This is under treatment and I live on medication that relieves it to some degree.  I’d rate my recovery at a 90-95% to-date.  I cannot yet do everything I could before the surgery, but I remain determined.  

Throughout the year people showed up for me in the most moving of ways.  

• My daughter dropped everything in her complicated life, returned to NY and attended to my every need in the hospital and later too.  She is me and I am she.  Our bond is resolute.

• My husband of 3+ years was by my side and a strong shoulder to lean on both around the surgery and every day for the past year plus.  I am so fortunate to have found him the second time around!

• My recently widowed 80 year old father moved from PA to NY to spend nearly three months as my caregiver, meal preparer and driver while I was incapacitated.  He is a unique man whose commitment to family is unparalleled.

• My sisters were there both physically and emotionally despite their busy lives.  I have the best sisters a woman could have.

• My friends visited, brought food, comfort and made me laugh both initially and in the longer haul.  I am moved by their loyalty.

• My staff resolved to keep our small business afloat and keep me insulated from any concerns.  I am so touched and proud of them.

My list goes on to doctors, therapists, colleagues, extended family and more.  I learned lessons of patience, humility, mortality, determination, loyalty, resolve, and so much more.

Through it all, however, I came through clear on who I am and how I choose to be.  Believe me, I had moments when I complained, cried, was grouchy and impatient.  But through it all, the unassailable “me” remained intact.  That, perhaps, has been my proudest accomplishment.  

Is Putting Others First Making You Fat?

Is Putting Others First Making You Fat?
by Eli Davidson

A woman in her twenties pulled me aside after I finished a speech for a corporate client. Lizelle was newly married and was nervous that with her demanding job she wouldn’t have the energy to have a child. Wait a minute here. She’s 26 years old and she is so tired she doesn’t know if she can have a baby? Startled by her own misplaced values, she knew that she needed to examine her choices.

Is your life a blur of activity? Are you on auto pilot saying “yes” to anyone that asks for a favor? A schedule that has you running from sun up to sundown puts you in a pressure cooker. You are zapping your zest if you forget to build in some you-time everyday. Remember, you are the Mayor of You-ville as I tell my coaching clients. Within your skin you are the only person who chooses what goes on inside you.

I am a cheerleader for contribution. There is nothing more fulfilling than sharing the connection of loving between You-ville, Me-ville and Us-ville. But, you need to take care of yourself before you can help take care of others. Healthy intimacy is a mix of giving and receiving. Remember, there no brownie points for neglecting your needs. “No” is not a cuss word. Even to the people you cherish. Before you bake brownies for someone else, have you fixed dinner for yourself? And hey, while you’re baking those brownies, make sure you put some aside for yourself.

Fab Not Flab

If health won’t make you take a bit of time for yourself, maybe vanity will. Stress makes you fat. Dr. Pamela Peeke says “Your body reads stress as time to be on alert, so it leaps into action. Your hypothalamus alerts your pituitary gland to send an ACTH molecule to the adrenal glands that releases cortisol, and other damaging stress-driven hormones. Your adrenal glands produce epinephrine, which increases your blood pressure and blood rushes to your arms and legs. These small triangular glands sitting above your kidneys are the ones in charge of stress. They are so important that you have two . . . just in case one backfires. When you experience a stressor, your adrenal glands pump your body with adrenaline, which increases your blood pressure, increases water retention, sends oxygen and glucose to your brain, heart, and arms and legs, and cause a host of other changes known as the fight-or-flight response.
Years of chronic activation of your fight-or-flight response wears that great body of yours down. And if your body thinks your internal energy refrigerator is empty, it is going to want some food to fill it up. Pronto. Dr. Peeke says that trying to replenish your adrenal reserves triggers mood swings and overeating. If you aren’t including some comfort time, overeating may become your quick fix.

What is the antidote?

1. Give yourself a few more minutes of slumber. Studies are showing that less than 8 hours of sleep contributes to weight gain and a slew of other problems.

2. Take a few little breaks during the day. Set a timer on your computer or phone that reminds you to take a break.  (And then take that break.)

3. No…is not a cuss word. Practice saying no 3 times a day.

4. Agree to call a friend before you agree to take on any other projects.

5. By giving yourself healthy boundaries you lessen your need for emotional eating.
Be fabulous,
Eli